Me:i love you
Me:i love you
I’m feeling quite positive today, which is rare, for a Monday. After a violent vomiting episode yesterday, (due to the consumption of ALL OF THE red wine on Saturday) I am SERIOUS about not drinking again. You see, I can’t just have the one glass of wine, enjoy it and think ‘that’s quite enough, I am fullfilled now’ - I wish this was the case, but sadly no. I drink to get drunk, and then when I’m drunk, I drink more until I can’t see. This could stem from some underlying, unresolved issue from my childhood/teenage years, or it could just be (more likely) that I like getting drunk.
Well, anyway, I’m not drinking anymore, for a while at least, and it really annoys me when people say ‘ugh, i’m never drinking again’ and then the next weekend they are tweeting ‘ajjklsksam so dryudsnk lolol’ (guilty.) Yesterday was so horrendous. I couldn’t move my head without wanting to be sick. I couldn’t even keep water down, which isn’t the best situation when you’re quite obviously dehydrated.
So, yeah, I won’t be getting drunk or going out, until I’ve lost 50 lbs! Of course this means missing Brand New on Friday and my friends engagement party on Saturday, but you have to make sacrifices, right? These are pretty huge sacrifices but I’m making them nonetheless, because there are far more important things that need addressing, eg. my life.
Last night, I fell asleep on my sofa around 8.30, then woke up at 1am-ish, and despite trying to trick my brain/body into thinking I was still asleep by stumbling up to my bedspace with my eyes closed, I was wide awake. It didn’t work. I literally tossed and turned all night. I couldn’t switch my brain off. I kept thinking the most ridiculous things, and every time I checked the time, another hour had gone. I was so tempted to come back downstairs to get you, Tumblr, but I couldn’t let it win. Eventually I fell asleep because I woke up at 1pm! I had a lovely sleep and all, but I haven’t done any of the things I wanted to do this morning. Ugh.
In other more interesting news, my cat got her fat head stuck in my glass of water. Cutest.
- Too old
- With someone else
- In another country
- Not attracted to me
I can’t get you off my mind. It’s just so hard, times like these, you’re all I think about.
It’s all your fault. Well, it’s mostly your fault. BUT I REFUSE TO TAKE ANY OF THE BLAME BECAUSE I HAVE ISSUES.
I just wish you didn’t exist.
You and your mate barbecue sauce, you can both fuck off.
LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP INVADING MY BRAIN.
After all the unnecessary drinking over Christmas, I am participating in a sober January, (and perhaps February but let’s not get ahead of ourselves) There are 3 bottles of wine in my fridge and nothing else. They are becoming increasingly tempting as the day gets darker and colder. However, I will not succumb to their sweet, grapey, delicious call. No.
Instead I will lay in the bath until I’m wrinkly, drink copious amounts of green tea, read my book and probably watch some mindless shit on TV. Sounds exciting, yeah? Well it is.
So, feel free to message me, text me, call me, skype me, love me, tell me a little story about cats, or whatever you want really. That will be lovely.
Him:No. There's a reason why I haven't seen The Time Tra..
Me:Oh, did you read the book?
Him:Read the book?! Why would I read a book called 'The Time Traveller's Wife'? There's a fucking man with a machine who can time travel. Who gives a fuck about his wife?!
Me:He hasn't got a machine.
Him:What kind of time traveller doesn't have a machine? Fuck sake. It may aswell be called The Bullshitters Wife
This year, I have a few little(ish) projects that I’d like to finish. My first, and biggest is to redecorate my kitchen, but you know, I don’t wanna pay thousands to have a new kitchen when my kitchen is pretty solid and doesn’t need to be ripped out and replaced - it just needs freshening up since it looks like the 80’s puked up all over it. I’ve decided I’m just going to clean, sand, prime and paint my kitchen doors, and then buy new handles, worktops, flooring and other little things.
Anyway, (I do have a point) I want to go for a sort of cottage-like kitchen since there’s already a lot of wood in there, but I have this idea in my head that I want it to be pink. Not like crazy in your face ‘hi I’m pink’ pink, just really subtle, light, pastel pink. So I was going to do that, that was my plan, but now I’m not sure how durable it will be. Will I do it, love it and then get bored after a year? Should I just be safe and paint it cream? Ugh. I don’t know what to do. Opinions & advice, please!
Today I went shopping with my friend, and as she’s 8 months pregnant I carried all of her bags because I’m a considerate bastard. They were heavy too, full of baby things, but I didn’t mind because I like going into baby shops and looking at all the tiny clothes. Eeee, so tiny. She doesn’t know what she’s having but I want it to be a girl because boys clothes are rubbish and girls clothes are cute. There was this little white babygrow thing with cute little apples on it, ugh, it was so adorable and I just want to buy all of the baby clothes! ALL OF THEM! Okay, I need to stop because my uterus is probably about to explode. #broody
We also went for a delicious Italian lunch, and I bought a diary. I haven’t kept a diary for about 10 years, but I feel like this year is going to be worth documenting. Oh, and I saw the cutest writing set, and I nearly bought it but then I realised that I don’t have anyone to write letters to, and that made me a little bit sad.
Anyway, I’m exhausted and a little bit tipsy because I like to drink wine on my own.
It should definitely be one of my new years resolutions to give this up. Not that I have any others anyway. But, it’s so beautiful and I like admiring it, until I realise I don’t have the tens of thousands of pounds it would cost to acquire it, and then I just feel a bit shit.
One day money will be no object though and I will have all the nice things my heart desires. All of them.
I don’t get it. Why do you feel the need to be really mean to people who you probably don’t even know? I’ve had loads of horrible messages, “you’re fat” “you’re ugly” - like, is that supposed to hurt me? I do own a mirror. I know better than you what I am and what I look like. Is your opinion supposed to make me get off my arse and do something about it? Or are you just having a shitty day and want to bring other people down too, in the most gutless way. For all you know, I could be mentally unstable and ridiculously insecure about myself, and your little message just confirms things I already spend every day convincing myself of. I’m not. But, you don’t know that. THINK before you speak.
I’d be lying if I said I’ve never sent an anon message, but I’ve never been rude or attacked someone’s looks/personal character. I just don’t see the point.
If you’re gonna talk shit at me, fucking grow a set and say it with your face, yeah?
If you’re gonna have an opinion, show yourself, or shut the fuck up.
I love american horror story but jesus christ there are so many holes in the story but its so risky and tates so gorgeous that i’m not even bothered.
SO many. Like when those kids he killed in high school come to find him and that one bitch is like “You asked me if I believed in god before you killed me” and then later it shows the part where he killed her and he didn’t say anything, just shot her. And there are so many other things like this that I’ve noticed but can’t remember now BECAUSE I AM BLINDED BY TATE’S BEAUTY. Seriously though, he’s well fit, but the storyline is the worst.
Or, if it insists on doing so, it would be lovely if it could just refrain until Christmas day, where it will suddenly gracefully fall and delicately cover everything like magic, and everyone will be happy because snow is lovely to look at, and nobody will drag their mucky little feet through it because they’ll be too busy inside, doing Christmas day things. And then the snow must stop and it must definitely not turn to ice because that shit ruins my life. So, that would be lovely. And that’s all I have to say on the matter really.
It’s 5.30am. What am I doing with my life? I’m drunk. I already cut my finger open with a knife and I just now stabbed myself in the hand with a fork. FUCKING FORK. I HATE THE WORD FORK. SAY IT. Say it out loud. FORK. Fucking fork. STupid words keep stabbing me in the hand and ruining my life.
I’m done. I’m going to sleep. Kay bye hate you bye kay bye. bye.